Good Book Readin'!

Uncanny X-Mas!

2007-12-24T12:21:00.001-06:00

Yeah, yeah, I hope to do more comics stuff next year. Meantime, Happy Xmas!

These guys can go. The puppets convinced me.

2007-08-11T07:15:00.000-06:00

Countdown #38

I love the Deep Six. Those guys are awesome. Unfortunately, every time they appear in a comic they get killed. I guess them's the breaks. Hey, maybe DC's just killing the New Gods so they can bring 'em back as zombies. Kids love zombies. In other news, the "History" of the Multiverse is finally done. I think that might make this my favourite issue of Countdown yet. Or perhaps it makes the next issue my favourite . . .

Green Lantern #22

Ya know, I always dug the Green Lantern Corps. I mean, Green Lantern is cool enough on his own, but to have thousands of nutty alien counterparts? That's tough to beat. And now they've all got more nutty alien evil counterparts? Glorious! Sadly, a lot of our boys (and gals) are getting offed these days, but I'm sure that's just to pave the way for more nutty aliens. Anyhow, the point is that the Sinestro Corps War is so exciting, fun, and dramatic that I don't even know what else to say about it. Not only does it have an Anti-Monitor (who is way cooler than any regular Monitor), but it even manages to make Cyborg-Superman awesome. That's a really difficult accomplishment, and deserving of high praise indeed. One small quibble: Shouldn't Kyle-Parallax's energy constructs be all yellow? Seeing as how Ion got yanked outta him there. And Hal makes a mention of his yellow beams. I'm looking at you, Moose Baumann. We're still pals, but don't think my high praise last week gives you license to get sloppy.

X-Factor #22

This here is a good book. Unfortunately, I think in order to enjoy it you not only have to have read every previous issue, but also any previous X-book by Peter David, as well as most of David Hine's X-work, and House of M, and God only knows what else. Which is a shame, since I don't think most people have done that. And the double shame is that David's doing such a good job using all of that material. And Pablo Raimondi's art just keeps getting top-notcher all the time. How about you give it a try anyhow, and if you don't understand something, just ask me. I like this book a lot; I'm willing to lend a hand. Bonus Review: Hey, there's an Endangered Species back-up! Well, I'm a big fan of the Beast! And I like Mike Carey! And Mike Perkins, as well! Too bad this whole story is dead boring and long and scattered to the four corners of the world. Feel free to yawn now. PS - Does Dark Beast really call himself Dark Beast? Because that's dumb. It is, in fact, so dumb that it makes regular dumb look like Nikola Tesla multiplied by Albert Einstein.

Fables #64

Hey, we got a guest artist here, and he's quite good! I'm rather sure I've never heard of Aaron Alexovich before, but he's got a really fun style. Like if a Phillip Bond comic was making out with My Faith in Frankie, and then someone took a picture of it with Rick Geary's camera. Delightful! Meanwhile, the book's story continues to entertainingly build to something I bet's gonna be big-time big. You heard it here first. I assume.

Daredevil #99

There's so much good about Daredevil right now I hardly even know what to say. So I'll just say these things: Ox. Montana. Fancy Dan. Yep! It's the Enforcers! It makes me giddy to see those guys show up in even the lousiest of comics, so I'm glad there's no glee-o-meter in my home. It just would've busted when I read this, getting mercury or some crud all over the place. Ed Brubaker is great. More on that in a moment.

Casanova #8

I've been loving this book from the get-go, and I'm so glad to have it back. I also somehow missed the fact that artist Gabriel B· has been replaced by his twin brother F·bio Moon on the book. Which was a little jarring at first. However, by the end of page one I was thrilled with the change. Make no mistake, I really dug B·'s work, but I think I might dig Moon just a little bit more. His work has a similar personality, and is just as kinetic, but his thick, languid brushwork lends everything a nice weight, and somehow makes it all seem just a little more alive. Not to mention his sketchwork in the back, which is brilliant. And if I ever find myself missing Gabriel B·, I'll still have Umbrella Academy, to which I am greatly looking forward at. My one qualm with the art is Moon's choice in blues, which may just be a titch too intense. It makes my eyes vibrate more than I'm used to. As for the writing, Matt Fraction continues along at a frantic pace, throwing delicious make-'em-ups at us willy-nilly as his story picks up, packs up, and takes off. I don't know where it's going, I'm not sure Fraction knows where it's going, and I'm probably more than a little confused, but that's why I love that zany Casanova. He's never, ever boring. Go now and check out the gorgeous hardcover. It's like eating the world's wildest peach.

Criminal #8

Remember how Ed Brubaker is great? Here it is. I can't say more, just read it. Then you'll also get to see Sean Phillips produce possibly the finest work of his distinguished career. I've been a fan for some long time now, and still can't even put a point on what makes his Criminal art so damn good. I can only assume it's got just a little extra heart and soul than, say, Marvel Zombies or any other decent bill-payer. This is the work that leaves no doubt that the artist really, truly cares about what he's doing. Beautiful.

Batman #667

Some artists care, and some are just lunatics. I'm becoming convinced J.H. Williams maybe a dangerous hybrid of both. I'd also forgotten that he'll draw any the hell way he damn pleases. Throughout this issue I see characters in the style of Rude, Cassaday, Sprouse, Chaykin, McGuiness, Gibbons . . . Williams ain't just great, he's got great taste! And while he may have toned down a little on the designiness of his pages, he's far from left it behind. He's just holding onto it like a concealed weapon to be unleashed on the unsuspecting. Pow! And that gives you pages 16 and 17. He simply can't make a non-incredible looking comic book. Which goes very nicely with Grant Morrison, who more than ever just grabs classic and modern sensibilities and mashes hem together like grapefruit and a face. Only less painful and demeaning. Absolutely fantastic, I eat it up like a spoon.

Why would you sleep with a woman who looks like Doctor Doom?

2007-08-03T16:22:00.000-06:00

Let's have a look inside my magic sack of comics and see what we'll talk about today! (Ooh, I feel just like Santy Claus . . .)

All right, there's no magic sack of comics. But here's some I done read this week.

Countdown #39 (of what, 0? How does that work again?)

Back-up by Dan Jurgens and Jerry Ordway

What's that you ask? Who did the main story? Doesn't matter, I'm not talking about it. No, no time for that, we have more pressing matters here. This back-up is getting waaayyy too big for it's britches. Yeah, it first it seemed kinda handy; lots of people don't know the full history of the multiverse. However, most of that was quite irrelevant, as that multiverse is not the multiverse of today. Oh, but that's okay, we'll cover today's multiverse as well. Fine. Only, that history just happened. I mean, come on! Anyone who cares already knows! It's ridiculous, even the monitors are telling each other what they already know.

Monitor 1: "Then the worlds split apart"

Monitor 2: "I know, and Mr. Mind bit them."

Monitor 3: "Yes, and that changed them"

Monitor 1: "That's right."

Monitor 39: "Mm hmm."

So that's quite a waste of time. But now, now they're not even telling you the history, they're telling you the, well, now. And not of the multiverse, so much as themselves. And it's still. Boring. With at least two more chapters to go, since they didn't say "To be concluded" at the end. You know what? This is stupid. It wasn't enough for Dan Jurgens to kill Superman in the lamest most grueling possible way, now he wants to do the same to my love of DC comics. What a jerk.

The New Avengers: Illuminati #4 (of 5)

Wrote by Brian Michael Bendis and Brian Reed, Drew by Jim Cheung and pals

Sorry, more than one inker and you become "pals". Anyhow, my feelings about this series are more mixed than a girlie drink. So far one constant remains: it looks phenomenal. Jim Cheung should just draw a Marvel Universe time travel story or something. I'd like to see him draw everything. Ever. Just, maybe, if you could, get someone else to write it. It's weird, there was a time Bendis wrote my favourite comic book going (Alias, by the way), and I was delighted to see him use the Marvel U as his playground. Now I just want him to pack up and go home. Mind you, the first two issues of this were good fun, and nicely fulfilled the promise of the Illuminati's premise by showing us what this ultra-secret group has been doing behind the scenes throughout the years. Then there was a bit of a wait, followed by large dollop of pointless nonsense about the Beyonder being a mutant inhuman or some balderdash. That issue was, in many ways, dumb. This issue less so, but not by quite enough. It starts off with a lot of guy-talk about gals, with some witty, fun dialogue that unfortunately just seems out of place and often quite out of character. But then things pick up, as we visit Noh-Varr (of Grant Morrison's nigh forgotten Marvel Boy miniseries) (which is great) in prison and our heroes try to convince him to be a good guy, maybe even the new Captain Marvel! Which seems unlikely, since the old one has just time traveled to today and is getting his own series. And that causes me to wonder whether this is really such a major moment in Marvel history, as compared to previous issues. I mean, that is the point of the series, right? Then Reed Richard says something nice to his wife in a profoundly retarded way. Wotta maroon.

Elephantmen #10 (or 11, if you read the indicia. Odd.)

By Richard Starkings and Moritat

Is anyone else reading this book? It's quite good.

Justice Society of America # 11

Writed by Geoff Johns, Drawed by Fernando Pasarin and Rodney Ramos

Much as I disapprove of two "chill-out" issues in a row, Johns is delivering some solid backstory for a few of the team's newer members here. Plus there's a chunk of decent bad-guy stopping thrown in for good measure. I miss Dale Eaglesham when he's not here, but Pasarin and Ramos do quite and able job on the art chores. All in all, a satisfying issue of a really good series.

She-Hulk #20

Wroten by Dan Slott and Ty Templeton, Drowned by Rick Burchett and Cliff Rathburn

Things are starting to wrap up as Slott's damn fine run draws to a close. That said, this is easily the weirdest, most confusing issue of the entire series. I quite enjoyed it, but there was more than one point where I wasn't sure if I was meant to know what was going on, if maybe I'd forgotten something, or perhaps it's filling me in? I suppose that's the risk when so much is going on. Be that as it may, I feel well compensated by Man-Thing's squeaky kitty and Shulkie referring to the Ultimate Marvel Universe as the "cosmic equivalent of a hot trophy wife". Sadly, Ultimate Marvel probably took it as a compliment.

Metal Men #1 (of 8)

By Duncan Rouleau

Man, I used to hate Duncan Rouleau. Not no more, I don't. He's really cleaned up his work with nice, sharp lines and thoughtful yet kooky page layouts. It's like a snazzier, jazzier Tim Sale filtered through a less-crazy Chris Bachalo. This is then deftly coloured by Moose Baumann, who seems to be working hard to become my favourite colourist going. He knows when to get fancy and when to keep it low-key, and his colour choices are bang-on. Oh yeah, and Rouleau wrote the thing, too; his first writing gig, if I'm not mistaken. And it's fun, like the Metal Men should oughtta be. There's some mysterious ancient mumbo-jumbo in the prologue, a swell robotic punch-'em-up to get going, a classy origin-style flashback to fill us out, and a twisty, time-travely cliffhanger topping us off. Rouleau handles the characters well, using the team's dynamic quite well while giving us just a taste of new member Copper. I think she's gonna fit in nicely. But his Doc Magnus is the real star, a brilliant yet uncertain man, seen both long before and well after his bouts with mental collapse. Ice off that cake with some delightful early Metal Men prototypes and a charming guest appearance by pre-villainous T.O. Morrow and you've got one of my favourite new books in some time.

Midnighter #10

By Keith Giffen, Chris Sprouse, and Karl Story, respectively

You know, I'm never certain whether getting to know The Authority as actual people is a good idea or not. Sometimes it just seems like they're only real purpose is exciting, over-the-top, blockbustery razzmatazz. Otherwise, what's the point? And so far this series has just been a fun, slightly nutty action book. Neat! So yeah, I was uncertain about the idea of an origin story. These guys should be beyond origins. Well, I might take a little nibble at those words. Characterization, backstory, origins, they may not be appropriate for everybody, but if they're done well then it's hard to be a bad idea. And I gotta say, Giffen's doing it well. I think we're in for a good journey of self-discovery, and some swell action to grease those wheels. And that guy with the flag face, that's classic Giffen. Even when he's not drawing he's avoiding drawing faces. Beautiful. Speaking of drawing, I will admit: Even if Giffen was half-assedly writing a piss-poor story here, I'd keep buying it as long as Sprouse kept drawing it. That guy is amazing. Now if the colourist would just chill out a little. The colours aren't terrible; they're just a bit much. It's clean, simple art, try and complement that.

Spider-Man/Fantastic Four #4 (of 4)

By Jeff Parker, Mike Wieringo, and Wade von Grawbadger

Speaking of over-colouring. That is my only complaint about this book. Super-fun, highly entertaining, this is what every Spidey and/or FF book should try to be. Heck, it's what 94 % of super-hero comics should try to be. Jeff Parker is one of the guys who really remember why we all love this stuff in the first place. And Mike Wieringo, there's a fella who practically bleeds fun. I miss this series already.

Mary -- Please stop climbing on the seven deadly enemies of man. Thank you.

2007-07-24T21:25:00.000-06:00

All righty, it's been a while, but as Rachelle's asked me to help pick up her slack while she's on tour, I'll try 'n' dust off the old reviewing keyboard. Which is encrusted with filth, let me tell you. Well, here goes. These are some comics I just read the other day:

Silver Surfer: Requiem #2 (of 4)

By J. Michael Straczynski and Esad Ribic

Straczinski's utter lack of a sense of humour isn't the problem here. It's his highly irrational conviction that he's got a great sense of humour. I already knew this, but had honestly thought this series would be hampered more by his tendency to be a pretentious blowhard. I mean, come on, the Silver Surfer tends to be a bit of a windbag himself sometimes. But somehow the two cancelled each other out just enough to make the first issue a tolerable read. Aside from a flimsy excuse for the Surfer to be dying: "Yes, it seems your power cosmic granted you by one of the most powerful beings ever, who predates our entire universe and is beyond almost all human comprehension is irreparably wearing out after, oh, ten, maybe twenty years? Tops? How long have you been doing this again?" Yeah, anyhow, if you buy into that, it's okay. Until Spidey shows up. And he just flaps his stupid gums for twenty-odd pages like he's got Tourette's syndrome. What a knob. Oh well, I'm only buying this for the art anyhow, which is gorgeous. Ribic's stuff is great, kind of realistic with a flair for the fantastic, think of Alex Ross way back when, before he lost the magic and all his heroes started looking down on me with contempt as though I just wet my pants in the 7th Grade (which, by the way, was totally not my fault).

Super-Villain Team-Up: M.O.D.O.K.'s 11 #1 (of 5)

Written by Fred Van Lente, penciled by Francis Portela, inked by Terry Pallot

All right, so they had trouble choosing a title. I won't begrudge 'em, on account of this book is terrific fun. A bunch of second-through-fourth rate Marvel villains are brought together for a big heist by the big head himself. I'm pretty much sold right there, but to back it up is some nice, solid artwork from a couple of guys I've never heard of before. Lurking somewhere between Steve McNiven and Clayton Henry, Portela and Pallot serve up a delightful looking smorgasbord of Super-Villain Team-Uppery indeed. This book also stands alongside other recent minis like Union Jack and the nigh-forgotten Spider-Man: Breakout for not just using obscure villains but using them well. Not as jokes, "Look at me, I dress like a goof and have a dumb name, ha-ha-ha", but as actual characters and/or threats who happen to live in a world where people do dress like goofs and often have dumb names to boot. That's the fun. So go read this book, M.O.D.O.K.'ll thank you for it.

M.O.D.O.K. - Mobile Organism Designed Only for Killing.
Shown here killing an ice cream.

The Programme #1 (of 12)

By Peter Milligan and CP Smith

This one I'm not sure about yet. I think I like it. The idea seems pretty cool, and I almost always enjoy Milligan's work. I just hope things clear up a little bit. Maybe that's just the art, which does have some neat shots and at times achieves a nice Sean Phillips-y vibe, but more often seems vague, cold and flat. Smith's got talent, though, and I like his work a lot more now than I used to, so this book gets the benefit of at least a few more doubts.

Captain America # 28

By Ed Brubaker, Steve Epting, and Mike Perkins

Great, as usual. Plus, the Eel shows up. I love that guy!

Justice League of America #11

By Brad Meltzer and Gene Ha

A bit of a cool-down after the break-neck thrill ride of the last few issues. Not amazing, but good, and elevated by Gene Ha's spectacular artwork. He's trying something a little different here, really roughing his stuff up, and it works really well. That guy draws like 7 maniacs and a looney tune.

Shazam! The Monster Society of Evil #4

By Jeff Smith
A wonderful conclusion to a fantastic miniseries. It certainly makes the otherwise passable Trials of Shazam look like a big pile of rotten stinkfish. I don't know what the hell Smith's gonna do to follow this one up. Hopefully a sequel, there's certainly plenty of the Captain Marvel mythos left for him to play with. The book is just so very much fun; in a way few others are these days. Totally kid-propriate, but not a simplistic as most Johnny DC or Marvel Age series. There's a very strong children's book flavour, as evidenced by the Maurice Sendakian big-head-little-hands physique on Billy, Mary, and even Sivana. And it's action packed, with a double-page spread I would love to see made into a poster. I'm pretty much gonna stop now, because I could keep vomiting praise all over this book for days, but there is one tiny nit for me to pick. They finally reveal the Monster Society Secret Code (a basic alphabetic sequence inversion), for those of you who hadn't figured it out, and proceed to misuse it on the very same page when you decode the final secret message:

TGE END

2007-07-09T20:08:00.000-06:00

I promise that there will be more comic book related content up soon, but in the meantime, here's the reason why there hasn't been any:

No Comic Books Today!

2007-05-28T21:46:00.000-06:00

No sir! Instead I bring you an advance sneak peek-a-bout at the music video I'm working on. And here it is.

Stop Talking by The Stolen Minks. Coming soon.

Dig it, man!

2007-05-09T21:27:00.000-06:00

It's Archie's Love Scene!

Looks pretty groovy, eh? There's probly gonna be some beat poetry, beads, maybe some - hold up! What's that logo up there?
Yessir, it's Christian Comics! At low, low prices!

I really don't have a lot to say about this comic. I think it mostly speaks for itself. I will say this: In no other Archie comic have I seen so much as an inkling that there is any such thing as sex and/or drugs. Only Christianity, man . . . Anyhow, here are some choice panels, make of them what you will.

At this point I would like to jump in just to mention that during the following story where Hot Dog fantasizes about being human, he still doesn't speak aloud during his entire fantasy dream sequence . . .

. . . however. Upon waking up to reality, he is faced with such powerful, important questions that he simply must speak out loud for the first and only time ever.

And there we have it, the bizarre and difficult to explicate world of Christian comics, summed up as succinctly as I can. Now I must go, but I leave you with the following words:

today's broadcast brought to you by: Archie's Love Scene (1973), written and drawn by Al Hartley. I think.

The Little Man

2007-04-15T19:18:00.000-06:00

One thing I love about the world is when Wolverine gets all dressed up, like when Professor Xavier has come to invite Kitty Pryde to join his prestigious school . . .

Just lookit him! With his little suit and his little hat and his little bolo tie . . . he's like a midget circus bear goin' to church on his birthday. It's downright adorable.

And here's everybody gone down to the maltshop. The X-Men were so charmingly Norman Rockwell-esque back in thos carefree innocent days of - what is Wolverine reading?

Hustler?!? The skinniest of the skin mags? While chaperoning a thirteen year old girl? Not to mention Petey Rasputin, the then-youngest of the X-Men and all-round innocent. Not bragging here, but I happen to know that magazine features both penises and vaginas, sometimes in less-than-tasteful situations . . .

Penthouse does have a hint of artistic value, I'll admit. That soft focus is classy stuff. And Wolverine does threaten the shopkeep with serious physical harm. That's more like the hero we all know and love. Yes kids, anyone can redeem themselves in my eyes!

turns out I was reading X-Men #129 (January, 1980) By Chris Claremont and John Byrne with Terry Austin, inker

Batman Annual #10

2007-04-06T01:19:00.000-06:00

This is actually a pretty fun read, provided you suspend a little disbelief. Or, preferably, are completely ignorant of financial situations and laws. Ol' Prof. Hugo Strange bankrupts Bruce Wayne's company and self and buys his house and won't let him back in. As you can see above, Bruce uses his pocket money to buy a battery powered hot plate and batteries. Also some food, not shown. Then he visits a local alley.

What else to do but become Batman and save the day! Or wait, let's get in closer . . .

Become Batman, turn your cape into a bindle, and haul around a dirty mattress.

Then Bathobo eats beans.

this was brought to you by Batman Annual #10 (1986) wrote by Doug Moench, drawed by Danys Cowan & Alfredo Alcala.

Silent but deadly . . . For Real!

2007-03-30T23:32:00.000-06:00

This issue: Max Allan Collins makes his lasting addition to The Batman's rogues gallery. You guessed it, she's a mime! The Mime! This is actually a pretty fun issue, but c'mon, don't cover-blurb it like it's a new villain we will ever care about seeing again. We really won't. Before I move, Kevin Nowlan once again draws someting really well. That guy's great!

To begin: Someone robbed a church. That's low. The Batmobile has a swell novelty plate. Wait, that's on the back. That's a real license plate. I guess it helps to have friends in law enforcement . . .

Turns out, it's the Mime's been doin' crimes! Not the biggest revelation, really. Why do comics even have covers, if all they do is spoil surprises? Anyhow, I think Collins only wrote this so he could use all the mime jokes in his repertoire. Funny thing is, I get the impression Batman is being dead serious right now.

Not so much here. Here he's just chillin' in the commish's office while Gordon laments having to round up a bunch of literal clowns for the witness to identify. Didn't work out. Where's Batman's toothpick? He needs a toothpick here.

And that repertoire of mime jokes is exhausted already. Seriously, the oldest mime joke in the world is "Mime's are lousy." Come on. Batman offers some sage words of wisdom.

In the end, they save heavy rock group "Blister Twister" from the Mime's insidious acts of quiet terror and let them get on with covering Simon & Garfunkel (seriously). Then Batman questions everything he stands for in order to illustrate the generation gap.

thanks to Batman # 412 (Oct. 1987) Written by Max Allan Collins, penciled by Dave Cockrum, inked by Don Heck

From the Company Who Gave You "Lady Cop" . . .

2007-03-25T22:06:00.000-06:00

An interstellar space-cop from a whole 'nother planet with it's own ways and customs, an alien to both our world and culture, on duty pursuing a serious case fraught with dangerousness, but if she's a girl she sure as dammit's gonna be carrying a mirror. Still, it did save the day. It's just like that issue of Detective I can't find where Batgirl foils criminals by having a run in her tights. See, girls have their little foibles, but they come in handy at times.

Still, maybe naturalist and museum employee Mavis Trent can show a more independant, capable side of womanhood. Nope, she's too busy slavering over both Hawkman and Carter Hall (her boss), unaware that they're the same dude but quite aware that they're both in commited relationships. But she's not giving up until she's trapped one of them in tight bonds of matrimony! Pretty much makes '60s Lois Lane look like an under-achiever. Still, this is a fine collection on nice paper with sterling reproduction and a swell painted cover by Li'l Joey Kubert. You could do worse.

from a 1989 Hawkman trade paperback, this story originated in The Brave and the Bold #36 (June-July 1961) written by Gardner Fox, drawn by Joe Kubert, and splendidly recoloured by Tom Ziuko

"Murder Comes In Black Boxes!"

2007-03-23T22:54:00.000-06:00

In this issue, Batman is a very understanding man who avoids flying off the handle at people whose boyfriends were just killed. But hey, a guy gets defensive sometimes . . .

He solves some mysteries, uncovers new ones, and decides to go to Hungary.

He also tries out some catchy british slang he picked up watching late-night PBS. Later he buys some flowers and puts on a beard. There's an old man and some barrels. To be continued.

The issue, that is. I'm done.

found within the pages of Batman #281 (Nov. 1976) with a story by David V. Reed and an art by Ernie Chua & Tex Blaisdell

The Amazing Tale of Bruce Wayne's Aunt Agatha

2007-03-19T23:05:00.000-06:00

In this issue, Batman gets an aunt. He carries an umbrella around. She dresses up as the Joker. There's a train.

found reprinted in Batman # 233 (July-August 1971), originally in Batman # 89 (Feb 1955), credited only to Bob Kane, for what it's worth . . .

Ghost Taxi Passenger!

2007-03-02T00:18:00.000-06:00

In honour of his box-office smashery, here's a little look at Ghost Rider's very first issue of his own title: Ghost Rider #1. Yep, finally in his own book, time for comicdom's premiere motorcycling hero of the night to really show his stuff . . .

. . . by taking a cab. While in "fiery skeleton" mode. That seems pretty straightforward. Cabbies get demonic passengers all the time. Perfectly normal.

Unfortunately, my copy is missing the middle pages, but if you take it upon yourself to track it down, you can see ol' Burny Skull actually get in the taxicab and completely fail to impress the driver. Well, he is mildly ecxited to have a minor celebrity in his car, but that's all. Also Ghost Rider had absolutely no secret identity in those days. Yup, everybody knew who he was. That's a good idea.

Anyhow, turns out lots of Ghost Rider comics aren't that good.

panel courtesy of Ghost Rider #1 (Sept. 1973) written by Gary Friedrich, Pencilled by Tom Sutton, Inked by Syd Shores

Tidin' over . . .

2007-02-19T00:53:00.000-06:00

What's this? No amusing panels plucked from days of yore? Or even days of now? Days of Thunder? No, 'mafraid not. But if you'd like to see some Super-Types, pop on over to my other blog and take a gander. And no worries, I've got some delightful amusements arranged for these pages. Patience, friends, patients.

Approved!?!

2007-01-31T17:55:00.000-06:00

Ah, those were the days, when a watchful group of, uh, watchy-types, watched over all of comicdom to keep us safe from inappropriate monsters, drugs, euphemisms, sex, and violence. And swears. Well, usually swears. Check out some choice panels from a Supergirl story in family comic-book Superman Family:

Well, that seems rude. Well, surely Supergirl will shut their foul mouths . . .

Well, she does fight them, but notice that not once does she deny her title of "Sluts' Champion". I suppose she never did have a steady boyfriend for any length of time . . .

courtesy of: Superman Family #215 (Feb. 1982) written by Marty "Dirty-Mouth" Pasko, pencilled by Win Mortimer, inked by Vince Colletta

Clark Kent's Mynah Dilemma

2007-01-14T23:30:00.000-06:00

Yes, yes, Superman comics are great, but what of Clark Kent? Is he not a reporter? Certainly such a job must lead to some exciting happenings? Perhaps such an item of human interest? Why of course, and so we have . . .

And you better believe it's riveting! Like this tale of the complexities of ornithology. Behold, as our Mr. Kent returns to his home to find . . .

Indeed! It seems ol' Clarkie's neighbours (the twins), have burgled his apartment in order to force him into bird-sitting for their noisy pet. What a scoop! Anyhow, being mild-mannered and responsible, he accepts this loud task. And then goes to bed. Even superheroes need their rest.

After a good night of concentrated sleep (thanks to the power of super-willpower!), it's a levitating tip-toe to the washroom for super-ablutions for our hero.

Lookit him go! Don't wanna wake that bird. Except, that's when disaster strikes:

Great Galaxies! How on earth did such a creature deduce the secretest fact known to mankind? How? Well, Kento has a theory:

That's right, when the bird saw his up-turned posterior under a bedsheet, it recognized it as just like Superman's under a cape. What a brilliant fiend! Still, it's just a dumb animal, so maybe it can be tricked into saying a cleverer, much less awkward phrase . . .

The story drags a bit here, so I'll sum up: it doesn't work. Also, Clark-a-rama saves the bird from an assassin's bullet and destroys a quality rifle using only his lungs and teeth without once jeopardizing his identity beyond this perceptive creature caged before him. But what to do about said cagey beast? Well, it's time for desperate measures.

As we all know, Superman's arcitic hidey-hole is full of many exotic, even interplanetary, devices, animals, and foodstuffs. What wondrous super-posession will he use? The Phantom Zone projector? A kryptonian metal-eater? Space-porridge? Guess again!

It's that giant mynah bird costume he used for his High School play! Of course, what simpler, more direct method could possibly scare the shit out of this bird so efficiently? Sheer super-genius!

Then he finds out the whole thing was just a dumb prank played by those bubble-heads next-door. Boy, he'd better unscare the shit back into that bird. Or else!

Still, no big deal for the unfazeable greatest superhero of all time.

Note: It may or may not interest you to know I now have a second blog. It's true! Have a gander at The Second-to-Last Picture Show and let me know what you think. Unless, that is, you don't like it. Then shut up.

This all come from: The Superman Family #197 (Sep/Oct 1979) Written by Cary Bates, Pencilled by Kurt Schaffenberger, with inks by Dave Hunt

Seasoned Greetings!

2006-12-23T21:50:00.000-06:00

No comic book nonsense today. Happy Holidays, everyone!

Offensive Weaponry?

2006-12-18T22:41:00.000-06:00

And here we have, at last, incontrivertible proof that the Micronauts' arch-foe Baron Karza and Jughead's appetite's arch-foe Miss Bernice Beazley are indeed related.

Panel 1 found in Micronauts #26 (February 1981); Written by Bill Mantlo, Drawn by Pat broderick and Armando Gil

Panel 2 found in The Jughead Jones Comics Digest #7 (December 1976 or '78. The printing's a little rough around the edges.); Writer and artist unknown. Any ideas?

A Dimension Beyond Sight, and Sound . . .

2006-12-17T10:48:00.000-06:00

Ah yes, the Twilight Zone. Rod Serling, cigarette in hand, tellin' ya a spooky ol' story. Our pal Rod also hosted the long running Gold Key Series, albeit in a less tobacconal manner. That's him up on there on the cover. And here he is again, regaling us with a twisty turning yarn.

However, as time went on, Roddy found himself working on other shows, and simply didn't have enough time for his baby. Which I assume is why the next story was guest-hosted by

Tom Jones!

all this jazz is out of Twilight Zone #64 (July 1975) writers and artists unknown

The Man Without Fear . . . of being a jerk!

2006-12-09T19:48:00.000-06:00

Just a quick one today. It's about Daredevil. Always seemed like a decent guy, all-round stand up fella, y'know? Treats everybody with the respect they deserve.

Except former russian spies. Those are just objects of fun.

Panel found in Daredevil #120 (April 1975); Written by Tony Isabella, Drawn by Bob Brown and Vinnie Colletta

The Origin and Powers of the Legion of Super-Heroes

2006-12-01T17:47:00.000-06:00

So promises the title of this little back-up feature in Adventure Comics #365. And sure enough it starts off with a brief summary of the Legion and what they're all about. This is followed by a series of portraits of Legion members and associates that range from straightforward to misleading to downright obscure as to what their actual powers are. Apparently it's up to us to figure them out. Here are some of my favourites:

1 - Phantom Girl

Has the power to perform table dances

2 - Duo Damsel

Stunning ability to give boys way better dates than they expected.

5- Bouncing Boy

Bounces. This one's real, but come on, that never stops being funny.

8 - Cosmic Boy

Creates parking spaces where there were no parking spaces before.

9 - Chameleon Boy

Uncanny power to have speech and thought balloons when no other legionnaires can. Seriously, this is the only one they thought needed that extra explanation so as not to confuse the readers. Certainly not

10 - Saturn Girl

With her superhuman talent for waving at passing dragons.

13 - Superboy

Snaps oddly placed chains using only his chest and shoulders. Super! I'm also assuming he put those there himself, because nobody else would.

14 - Light Lass

Makes roots explode.

15 - Star Boy

Obviously fireproof. (For those of you unfamiliar with the Legion, he actually makes things heavy. That's right. Nothing to do with fire. Hurm.)

16 - Mon-El

Loves shiny rocks!

17 - Ultra Boy

Can melt guns when they can't see him. Sneaky . . .

18 - Matter-Eater Lad

Well, yeah. See Bouncing Boy.

21 - Element Lad

Uses finger-ray-beams to stack bricks. He's really good at Jenga.

25 - Dream Girl

Develops a headache whenever rocket-ships fight in front of a cloud.

26 - Princess Projectra

Can make one out of two men to drop his gun.

27 - Ferro Lad

Is, clearly, fantastic!

28 - Insect Queen

Amazing power to be really icky.

29 - Kid Psycho

What is he doing, watching future-TV? And what the hell is a guy named Kid Psycho doing on such a wholesome team. Also I've never seen him in any Legion comic book. Who is this guy? What is his deal?

Anyhow, after the Legion of Substitute Heroes (too awesome to show here) there are two text pages that actually do explain everybody's deals. But by that point the damage has already been done, and the Legion of Super-Heroes is forever rendered hilarious in the eyes of others. Mainly me.

Source: Adventure Comics # 365 (Feb. 1968) Writer unknown, Art looks like Curt Swan and George Klein . . ?

Whups. Sorry about that.

2006-11-27T01:49:00.000-06:00

So yeah, it may have appeared that I disappeared for a bit there. I didn't. I've just been busy enough not to be able to write down all the things I've been meaning to about all the comic books I've been reading. And I've been reading a lot of them. Perhaps too many. If I read fewer I'd have more time, but fewer things to say. I know that's a lousy excuse for a catch-22, but it's the only one I've got. Anyhow, until I regain the time and energy required to write reviews fit for reading, I'm going to reformat somewhat to keep up the content. It's a little different, so bear with me. The concept is fairly straightforward: Funny Panels! Like this one, in which Batman goes to Florida, where he finds a boat and loses his grammatical capabilities.

Tune in soon for an installment about the stupendous powers of the Legion of Super-Heroes!

Panel found in Batman #277 (July 1976); Written by David V. Reed, Drawn by Ernie Chua and Tex Blaisdell

Scarlet Traces

2006-10-06T14:57:00.000-06:00

In addition to their more high-profile books like Conan and Hellboy and whatnot, Dark Horse is putting out a lot of top-notch material no one seems to be talking about. Like, for instance, Ian Edginton and D'Israeli's whole new look at War of the Worlds. Originally begun in 1993 for a young, headstrong Internet, Scarlet Traces eventually became a hardcover graphic novel some ten years later. To follow it up, the two creators decided to first adapt War of the Worlds itself, and then move on to a 4-issue miniseries picking up from their original sequel. And because I just confused myself while writing that sentence, I'm going to discuss all three segments in chronological order.

I read War of the Worlds at a tender age, went on to listen to it in audiocassette form, am a big fan of both film versions, and was even a regular viewer of the semi-lousy television program. That said, I think this graphic novel may be my favourite form of the story. As my age is no longer tender, it has been some time since I've read the book, so I certainly can't analyze the accuracy of the adaptation to any great extent, but I do greatly appreciate is the use of the original setting. The modern day settings of the movies worked, but there's something very effective about seeing science-laden alien beasties lay waste to our own past. Which, I know, obviously wasn't H.G. Wells' original intent, but that's why I like it anyhow. Plus, it's the very reason why the sequels go on to be so interesting. So let's take advantage of this little segue way to talk about them now.

The Scarlet Traces hardcover original graphic novel picks up roughly ten years after the Martians' attempted invasion, placing us in a very different England. The Martian technology has been adapted for every day use, and the British Empire pretty much has the run of things worldwide. Sounds great, but of course there's a seamy underbelly to things. When a couple of semi-retired military officers investigate the disappearances of several young ladies they uncover a belly of seaminess they were simply unprepared for. I will warn you now, the ending is not especially conclusive, but that's not so big a worry thanks to the follow-up miniseries.

Scarlet Traces: The Great Game leaps ahead just a little farther, following yet another protagonist. Lady Charlotte Hemming is a bitter, disillusioned reporter chock full of righteous indignation, and she's off on her biggest and most dangerous assignment yet: covering Britain's invasion of Mars. There's still one issue left to go in the series, but it's been amazing so far, with a revelation in issue #3 that really stirs up some silt. If the previous book is anything to go by (and I'd wager it is), the final issue promises to be quite something.

Ian Edginton's giving us a harsh potential look at the world H.G. Wells left off with, combining a looming 1984 and V for Vendetta-esque governmental terror with classically fantastical science fiction ideas and imagery. Still, it's D'Israeli's art that really steals the show and then sells it right back to you. Although fairly cartoony, his work is incredibly expressive, and never goofy. The Martians are almost viciously grotesque, and the humans are all very distinct and rife with emotions. To top it off, his colouring is some of the finest in the business today, richly textured with a palette that's nothing short of beautiful. Together, these two gentlemen are providing us with a modern yet classic science fiction adventure that's both fun and horrifying, and which hopefully will continue well past the current miniseries.

Green Lantern Corps #4

2006-09-20T07:10:00.000-06:00

written and pencilled by Dave Gibbons
inked by Michael Bair

The moment I've been waiting for since Gibbons wrote the Green Lantern Corps: Recharge miniseries last year: He also draws the cover. And just to one-up my expectations, he throws in fully pencilled interiors to boot. Wotta guy! I do have to say that Michael Bair is not quite as fitting an inker for Gibbons as I had expected, but he's a long haul from terrible and the book looks great.

I've been enjoying this series quite a bit already. Seriously: alien space cops with magic rings and ginchy uniforms; what's not to like? Ever since I discovered the Corps as a youth, I've kinda preferred the crazy variety of critters, weirdoes, gewgaws and googams to any earthman who's slung the ring. Of course, since the GLC as a whole rarely rates higher than a third tier character, they tend not only to be frequently unused but oft times disbanded and lightly killed. At this point, I've gotten used to this happening to my personal favourites, and am able to appreciate it that much more when some kind soul or copyright loophole brings them back from various states of oblivion. So a quick little "thank you" to everyone responsible this time, from Geoff Johns to Dave Gibbons to any of DC's lawyers who might've had a nudge in there as well.

Now, on to the issue at hand. Glad as I am to have Dave Gibbons drawing this one, I really want to take the time to talk about his writing. The man will probably always be known first and foremost as an artist, and a great one, but he's quietly and steadfastly produced a respectable volume of comic script work over his career. From Captain America to alternate versions of Superman to Aliens (like Sigourney Weaver hangs with, specifically) and even his own creation The Originals, he's cracked out a pretty penny of corking crackers. Even alongside all of that, this may very well be his highest profile writing gig to date, and he's doing a bang-up job of it. His delicate balance of deep space cosmic adventure with squad room chitchat evokes elements of Alan Moore's Top 10, while easily avoiding any semblance of pastiche. The character work is solid as well, with pre-existing and brand new Corps members alike all deftly handled and well-rounded. This is a large part of this issue's fun. Guy Gardner may be a jackass, but when writers know how to use him that's his greatest strength, and Gibbons' pitting him against Bolphunga the Unrelenting is a delicious recipe for entertainment stew. Eagle-eyed readers may remember Bolphunga as the rather ridiculous bounty hunter from Alan Moore's Mogo Doesn't Socialize (also illustrated by Gibbons and currently available in the DC Universe Stories of Alan Moore TPB), and while I certainly wasn't clamoring for his return, it's nice to see him again indeed. Gibbons doesn't forget those who helped him get where he is today. The issue also follows up on a few ongoing plot threads, which will hopefully encourage those who only picked it up for the art to stick around beyond this arc. I, for one, think you could do a lot worse.

Martian Manhunter #2

2006-09-16T10:50:00.000-06:00

Let's get this out of the way right off the bat: In this issue, Martian Manhunter remarks, "Of all the human emotions I have observed . . . revenge is the only one not foreign to my people." The only one. Which means Martians do not feel love, hate, anger, joy, sadness, or even, say, ennui. Funny, because I've seen J'onn J'onzz himself express at least some of these over the course of these first two issues. I'm just saying. Also, revenge? Not an emotion. So I'm gonna come right out and call that lousy writing. I mention this not just to point out that A. J. Lieberman is a lousy writer, but also to question Matt Idelson's editing. See, most of this review will be heavily biased by my own opinion, and the book's team may simply share vastly different views of the character from myself, but that line is just plain stupid and honestly should never have seen print.

Now here comes the heavily biased part of the review. Which is to say, I absolutely hate this book. Honestly, nothing good to say about it. I suppose the art isn't terrible, but that's neatly offset by the densely unimaginative re-imagining of DC's Martians' true Martian forms. Frankly, I can only assume this book is insulting to any long-standing Martian Manhunter fans, and at best disappointing to newfound ones. It reads like a dour '90s Image comic featuring an angry, miserable protagonist fighting a faceless, unscrupulous, government-esque agency. Still, I like to have a positive aspect to my reviews, so I'm going to forget about it and guide you in the direction of some good Martian Manhunter comic books.

Sadly, the best one is currently out of print, but if you can track down all three issues of Martian Manhunter: American Secrets by Gerard Jones and Eduardo Barreto you shouldn't be sorry. Easily some of the best work of both creators, it's a deft blend of hard-boiled detective, cold war paranoia, and science fiction, with a dash of comic book history for good measure. If, however, you can't locate that one, there are trade paperbacks available of both Justice League: A New Beginning and Darwyn Cooke's The New Frontier. Both of these are fantastic comics, and both prominently feature everyone's favourite Manhunter from Mars. I couldn't possibly recommend either of them highly enough. And hopefully this will tide us over until the next six issues are done and J'Onn can get back to his old quietly affable, cookie-loving self again.

Next up, I'll be taking a look at Green Lantern Corps #4 as well as Dark Horse's War of the Worlds sequel Scarlet Traces.

Coming Soon!

2006-09-15T11:38:00.000-06:00

Well, here's my comic book review blog! However, I do not yet have a comic review to put in it. Come on back soon for my intense deconstruction of the geo-political themes of A.J. Lieberman and Al Barrionuevo's Martian Manhunter #2!